Ehen, sit down people, I have come to rant again. I started writing this rant when I realised that I had forgotten what the substance of the rant for. I had to start thinking of what experiences sparked off the rant and I finally remembered! We will do it this way, I will narrate some experiences I had and we can both judge. Judgina in the building!

Specimen A

Story, story! Once upon a time, yours truly was leaving work and decided to hitch a ride with a colleague, let’s call her Ayo. Another colleague, let’s call her Tayo, asked to hitch a ride with this same colleague. Some other folks where going to ride with us too, it was a full house. I was the second to the last person to hop in and as I was settling my fine behind, I spied Tayo coming with some plenty load like that. I, feeling all so magnanimous, thought it best to get out and have her sit in the middle while I stayed at the ‘owner’s corner’. I did this because I would be the first to drop off, in fact my destination was less than a 5 minute drive from where we were so I saw no reason for her to have to come down with her bundle of joy (she had her kid with her) when I would be coming down.

If I had known better, shey I would have glued my fine behind to the seat. I was halfway out the door when Tayo looked and me and said condescendingly “What are you doing? You want me, a married woman, to sit in the middle while you, a single lady, will sit by the door?” I swear I am not kidding, I was shook! And this was not her cracking a joke o, she meant it through and through. I was so ‘shooked’ that I could not even utter a word. I jejely lowered my single self onto the car seat and gummed myself there till I had to alight. My single self alighted from the middle seat and said thanks to the Ayo, the owner of the car and to married Tayo sitting pretty in the owner’s seat. My single self then entered my destination.

Specimen B

“I cannot wear this o, I am a married woman.” This specimen is a collection of different things I have observed with married women and dressing. I have heard many people say they cannot wear an outfit because they are married women that it is too short or clingy. I have observed some folks in churches who used to go to church all pretty and funkily (this does not mean indecent o!) dressed who now wear only ‘serious’ trads and suits and co. they started dressing in a more subdued and ‘dignified’ manner. Someone even told me “You that you like wearing short things, you will stop when you get married.” IMO, if I could wear something while single, you bet I would still be rocking it as a married mother. All I would be bothered about is its age appropriateness but I would not stop rocking my shorts because I am married. To put it in context, those outfits that they condemned were not outlandish or indecent o. None showed cleavage, excessive legs or unnecessary curves. None of them. Hence my confusion.

Specimen C

Last and final piece I am presenting. One day, I was out on the town with some friends. (Gosh, that is such a lie, out on the town for where? Me that my social life is walking on crutches). Anyway, back to the point. I was at an event (very serious event) with folks (we all knew one another prior to the event) and during a break, the boyfriend of one of us came by to say hi. The owner of the boyfriend started introducing us to her beau and she introduced everyone by their first names.

Next thing I noticed was the person closest to me bristling and almost swelling with indignation. She fixed the owner of the boyfriend with a proud stare and said to her “What kind of insult it that”. We were all confused and were wondering what she meant. She then said “How will you introduce me as xxxxx? I am Mrs. xxxxxxx, please.” She went ahead to introduce herself ‘properly’ to the boyfriend and then all was well with the world. I was just looking and thinking to myself “Adonbilivdis.”

So please epp me examine these three specimens. What is it with this marriage thing that turns women into snobs or frumps or something not nice sha? When will women stop validating their existence on earth with marriage? Have you heard any ‘somehow’ experience with a married woman? Please share in the comments box. This marriage thing sef…..